A quiver in the cheeks when I’m lost in my head
All I want is to freely love not this struggle for breath
I want live in the present not rush around and fear death
I want to make you proud a hug a kiss on the cheek
a comfort zone where I can rest my feet
But the wall stays up and the fear is to great
Pulling and pushing me is more than I can take
Why why why do I have to chase you
Am I not worthy of your love
I’m not a transaction
Not to be dehumanized
I long for love touch and connections
Deep long term human interactions
I’m not looking to replace anybody or fill any void
But I run in confidence to get destroyed
Open your eyes pull away the mask
If your visions a little blurry I’ll clean the glass
For you to see I’m hear
I have nothing to prove but I must ask
Why am I not good enough and why couldn’t you just be proud?
I want to spend time with you.
I want to love you.
I want to support you.
I want to make you proud.
I want to feel your hugs.
I want to see your smile.
I want to share meals.
I want to be wanted in return.
I want to be considered an equal.
I want to speak to you in confidence.
I want to be safe.
I want to be understood.
I want to be loved.
I want to love.
Written February 27, 2020