I’m here! Aching and Out of Breath

Here’s a very unedited free write! Dark nights equal dark writes. 
It’s a lingering ache and tightness in the chest

A quiver in the cheeks when I’m lost in my head

All I want is to freely love not this struggle for breath

I want live in the present not rush around and fear death

I want to make you proud a hug a kiss on the cheek

a comfort zone where I can rest my feet

But the wall stays up and the fear is to great

Pulling and pushing me is more than I can take

Why why why do I have to chase you

Am I not worthy of your love

I’m not a transaction

Not to be dehumanized

I long for love touch and connections

Deep long term human interactions

I’m not looking to replace anybody or fill any void

But I run in confidence to get destroyed

Open your eyes pull away the mask

If your visions a little blurry I’ll clean the glass

For you to see I’m hear

I’m here

I have nothing to prove but I must ask

Why am I not good enough and why couldn’t you just be proud?

I’m here.

I want to spend time with you.

I want to love you.

I want to support you.

I want to make you proud.

I want to feel your hugs.

I want to see your smile.

I want to share meals.

I want to be wanted in return.

I want to be considered an equal.

I want to speak to you in confidence.

I want to be safe.

I want to be understood.

I want to be loved.

I want to love.

I’m here.

Written February 27, 2020

Seth June


“Shining Through My Tears”

Have you ever doubted your purpose? Have you been trying to beat the depression and escape the deep end of the pool? It’s that little piece of hope and faith that’ll pull you through. Life’s all about being open minded, honest, and willing. It’s about knowing there’s a power greater than yourself. This poem was written on a darkened mind racing night full of self hate and a dash of hope.

Let me show you the good, so I can hide the bad

smile real big so you want see me sad

sometimes I can’t take life, I get so mad

I suffocate, then I remove the bag.


I have too much to see to give up just yet

I have to keep breathing, so I catch my breath

I know everything that comes my way is just a test

I pass them one by one and plan to do so with the rest.


I’m staying in school and have to finish this degree

even though life’s a struggle and shit don’t come free

we to often try to face too much alone and we lag to get on a knee

God I pray that you please don’t give up on me.


There is reasoning behind each and every thing

you just have to figure out what’s worth the pain.


Figure it out and that’s what you fight for

the things that aren’t you walk out and shut that door

along the path to success, trust me, you’ll again fall to the floor

that’s when you find it in yourself to fight some more

put back on that smile and never show if your hearts sore

and to keep you lifted up is what friends are for.


Love all people and show them respect

the ones that don’t, sooner or later will regret …


… Because feeling all alone is no fucking fun

so be nice to others and deliver them some sun.


I want a good job, a family, the American Dream

but sometimes I wonder what if that’s not what’s meant for me

until then I’ll keep my head up, in order to see

because I have too much potential to give up in a world with endless possibilities.


By: Seth June